How I became a Mad Computer Scientist

Posted in General with tags , on January 19, 2012 by Jon Spencer

“My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.”

While I must admit I once held Dr. Evil in high regards, professionally and as a personal friend, his recanting and misrepresentation of my childhood as his own is egregious and in poor taste. On second though, that may very well be one of the core requirements for a Mad Scientist.

9 Real Life Mad Scientists

As most of you know, the science community is very cut throat, and even more so in the Mad Science community. Such underhanded tactics to gain notoriety are unfortunately not uncommon. Ahhh…how I long for the good ol’ days, when populariaty came from a simple show of galvanism, causing audiences to swoon, all with just with a few batteries and a couple of corpses. Giovanni Aldini , addio amico mio!

Regardless, it is not every profession that has the ability to hurl robots into the alien surface of Mars (“You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”), time travel (see prior comment), manipulate genome data to create a super-race(a much better plan that that of that bumbling oaf, Hugo Drax), or coding a virus to attack the PLC for a nuclear power plant! Through mad computer science, I have the ability to come closer in my dreams of ruling the world, much more so than any of my predecessors! Well, thats as long as the world remains reliant on computers. Luckily, over the summer I did some time travel, and am now working to avoid future events and that whole ‘mentat’ problem…which will bring me one step closer to WORLD DOMINATION!

BTW…my assistant says ‘Narf’!

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